The term ‘main character syndrome’ might only have been popularised on TikTok recently but this doesn’t mean the syndrome itself hasn’t existed in therapists’ books for years. Therapists agree that the syndrome usually appears as a reaction to feeling out of control in your own life. As we’ve all been feeling quite uncertain and anxious lately, take a moment to double-check if ‘main character syndrome’ might indeed be ruling your life these days.
Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City, who has just made her return to the screen, is often used as an example of a person with ‘main character syndrome’. In spite of their tight group being friends for ages, it’s always her problems and relationship drama that comes first, and her friends are mostly there to support her, to listen to her and to help her. Therapists agree, that Carrie’s neediness and self-obsession, as well as her often immature behaviour, would have realistically made it impossible for four friends to stay best friends for so long.
Here are the key signs that you might be, inadvertently, becoming the Carrie of your group of friends:
Your problems come first. Look back at your recent catch ups with friends – was it you who was talking the most, over-sharing and expecting others to support you, cheer you up and give you advice without giving anything back? ‘Main character syndrome’ means we secretly think our life is more interesting and the events in it are more important than those of the people around us. Being the centre of attention, at least for a short while, gives us a sense of stability and makes us feel more confident when it feel like our life is falling apart.
You make your life look better than it really is. Therapists say that subconscious anxiety and insecurity, which is the cornerstone of the syndrome, often makes people try to present their life better than it really is. They tend to describe themselves or the latest events that have happened to them through rose-coloured lenses and make everything appear more positive or successful than it really is. They carefully curate the image of themselves that they show both in person and online. Well, it makes it look like pretty much everyone on Instagram suffers from ‘main character syndrome’, doesn’t it? It’s now clear why the syndrome itself had been popularised on social media specifically!
You’re not good at accepting criticism. If any mention of your shortcomings makes you cringe, it doesn’t necessarily mean you suffer from ‘main character syndrome’, after all, don’t we all hate hearing we’re not perfect at something! But alongside other telling signs, the inability to accept criticism or advice often points to having ‘main character syndrome’.
If you’re being honest with yourself, you feel lost and drifting. As mentioned before, ‘main character syndrome’ often stems from feeling out of control in your daily life. Not surprisingly, our first reaction is to take the reins back, place ourselves in the centre of the universe and make it revolve around us. Being able to control the narrative gives us a feeling of peace and security. Although, underneath this blanket of false security where we imagine ourselves as the main characters of this story called life, we might still be feeling lost and insecure. If this is the real reason behind your ‘main character syndrome’, don’t feel too bad about it! It’s basically a case of ‘fake it until you make it’. If imagining yourself as the main character and being the most important person out there gives you a boost of confidence and improves your self-esteem, then keep doing this until you really feel it and won’t need this crutch any longer.