Many women fall pregnant effortlessly; for others it’s far from easy, or they become pregnant, only to endure heart-breaking miscarriage. Some women do not meet the right person until later in life, or they delay pregnancy to focus on careers, or for other life choices. This feature shares the stories of two Bay of Plenty women who celebrate the birth of their children and who make up the wonderfully diverse blend of family life here in the Bay.
The focus team photographed the women in the gloriously wild and whimsical French-inspired wedding venue, L’Orangerie, nestled in the hills overlooking Tauranga. Our models savoured the peaceful ambience, while the photographer, with so many stunning settings to choose from, captured the scene in all its rustic beauty
Cath’s Story
2015 was a crazy busy year for Cath and Ian Thompson of Tauranga.
With one physiotherapy practice under their wing, they decided to take the leap and open another. An expanding business was one thing; what they hadn’t anticipated was expanding their family at the same time. They also hadn’t anticipated the shock of Cath’s mum being diagnosed with breast cancer at the same time they announced their pregnancy.
The exciting news that they were expecting a baby was a surprise because as first time ‘older’ parents – Cath was 37 and Ian was 42 – they had thought they were in for a long haul of trying to fall pregnant.
“We were conscious of our ages and because I had early stage cancer of the cervix in 2013 we weren’t entirely convinced that we would be okay getting pregnant. Doctors had told us not to wait and suggested we do fertility tests. We were already pregnant without realising when Ian went for his test.”
The couple hadn’t purposely delayed having children. Until getting together in 2011 Cath says she simply hadn’t met the right person, and since then, a wedding and the opening of their first clinic had kept them busy and preoccupied.
Poppy was born in September 2015 after a “really good” pregnancy and Cath took 16 weeks maternity leave before returning to her two clinics part-time. She and Poppy continued to attend SPACE – a programme for new parents and babies – for the whole of Poppy’s first year. SPACE, she says, was “awesome” and secured lasting friendships with other parents.
“I was very aware of being an older mum so it was great to meet other women my age at SPACE. I also realised that being older has its benefits because I was a lot more relaxed about the pregnancy, birth and having a newborn than I think I would have been as a younger mum. You can get overwhelmed with all the advice and information out there – good and bad – but we had the experience of knowing there are a range of views available and were prepared to trust our instincts.
“My background in health definitely helped and we made extra effort to prepare for the birth, which I believe made our experience more positive.”
Of course, that didn’t stop all their routines flying out the window when Poppy was born. Lots of feeding issues initially, with Cath not producing enough milk, and a reflux diagnosis didn’t help matters.
“You can have all the best laid plans but if that’s not the way it goes, there’s nothing you can do about it. Looking back, it was a tough start, especially without family support around us as they’re all in the UK, so we relied heavily on the midwives. One day Ian got home from work and I was still in my pjs. He was awesome during this time. I have huge respect for single mums who are doing it on their own!”
Being prepared to roll with the ups and downs, and work together as a team helped Cath and Ian get through the busy time expanding their business and those early months with a newborn. When Cath’s mum was given the all clear and came out to New Zealand six weeks after the birth, they had just about managed to get a handle on things.
“If you get caught up with stress you can just undo yourself. The pregnancy wasn’t without stress, and having a newborn was all new to us. We had to find our way through lots of trial and error, tears and tantrums – mostly mine – until we figured out what worked for us.
“The timing wasn’t fantastic either, with the new clinic to establish, but if you wait for the optimal time with optimal money in the bank, you’ll be waiting forever. There is no ‘right’ time; you just make it work.”
The couple, who met in New Zealand despite living 40 minutes apart in the UK, make it work with good planning and routines to manage their busy weeks. Cath runs the couple’s Total Rehab Physiotherapy clinics in Bethlehem and Brookfield, and Ian is a Health and Safety consultant. Cath specialises in women’s health, particularly pelvic health, and works with Tauranga Parents Centre and local midwives to help women with musculoskeletal issues during pregnancy, or post-partum pain. She runs an antenatal Pilates group and educates women around pre- and post-birth exercise. Cath is also a qualified ‘Pinc and Steel’ cancer physiotherapist, specialising in rehabilitation for women and men recovering from cancer.
Angela’s story
Amid the joy and relief of finding out she was pregnant, Angela Quinlan was quietly terrified.
She had spent many years going through the rigours of miscarriage, fertility treatment and endless unbearable waiting, and now she wondered if her body would be able to nurture this baby and bring it to term.
Several years earlier Angela, who is a professional make-up artist in Tauranga, had been diagnosed with endometriosis* – a condition which not only caused painful periods but also severely impacted her chances of falling pregnant naturally. While surgery had removed most of the excess tissue growth, the pain had returned three years later, and she was told further surgery could mean she wouldn’t be able to maintain a future pregnancy.
A referral to a woman’s health specialist gave her hope as the doctor was confident she could help Angela and her husband, Andrew, conceive. But they had to move quickly because, with the endometriosis growing again, time was against them. Angela and Andrew had an encouraging result from IVF treatment – three fertilised eggs remained viable after five days. Unfortunately the first embryo to be inserted was not successful but the second one held on securely and this was their son Boston.
“I really didn’t feel pregnant and got the faintest line when I did a pregnancy test. I was stoked when it was confirmed but I was so fearful about miscarrying, even after 12 weeks. That fear never really went away during the whole nine months.”
Despite the earlier complications and challenges, the pregnancy went well, right up until 38 weeks when Angela came down with a urinary tract infection and had to be hospitalised until Boston was born, completely healthy, in July 2014. In a wonderful turn-around of luck, Boston started sleeping through the night at 10 weeks!
Looking back she says that when she and Andrew got married in 2005, it never crossed her mind that they might have trouble conceiving. Even though she didn’t start menstruating for 18 months after coming off the contraceptive Depo-Provera, and her periods were painful, she didn’t think these were concerning signs.
“I was ignorant of what was happening, but you have to take notice of what’s going on with your health. If you’re experiencing painful periods or pain during sex, don’t accept this as normal. It’s really important to talk to your doctor about it.”
Being more aware of her health had an added bonus – Angela was pretty certain of the signs of early pregnancy second time around. She was amazed to find out she had conceived naturally, and despite being “really sick” for half her pregnancy, gave birth to a healthy girl, Ruby, last year.
“It really felt like a miracle because I had been told that my tubes were not viable. I thought the endometriosis had destroyed any chance of getting pregnant.”
While she may need further surgery to remove the endometriosis later, for the time being she is pain-free and busy raising two children alongside the running of her home-based beauty business. Angela trained in the US before establishing Angela Q Makeup and Beauty in 2015. She offers makeup consultations for weddings, balls and other events as well as eyelash extensions, brow shaping and lash and brow tinting. She also coaches women on makeup application, including recommendations for best colour choices and makeup products to suit skin types.
*Endometriosis is a condition that occurs when the lining of the uterus grows in other places, such as the fallopian tubes or ovaries, and when this lining breaks down – as happens during a period – it has nowhere to go. It can cause internal bleeding, inflammation and pain, scar tissue and infertility.
Photos: Jodi Sweetman Photography
