It comes naturally to many people – they just walk into a room, smile and make friends with everyone in no time. But networking is a skill, which means it can be learned and perfected even if you’re the most introverted person who prefers to avoid conversations and attention.
Choose the safety of digital communication
Luckily for us introverts, almost everything can be done online these days. If nothing says ‘stress and anxiety’ more than a coffee date with a potential client or partner, opt for email, Skype or even Messenger communication whenever possible. Business-related conversations done on social media still haven’t shaken off the stigma of being ‘improper’ and ‘impolite’ entirely, which comes as no surprise seeing as how all conversations and deals were done face-to-face for centuries. But it’s a new age and changes can and should be made, especially if they result in improved mental health. After all, there is a reason for digital savviness to be named one of the most important skills to have in the modern workplace.
Utilise the power of observation
If making small talk is inevitable – say, at a business event – don’t rush into it, ignoring your own discomfort. Start with simple people watching – observe the behaviour of people around you and make mental notes. Are they anxious as well? Do they prefer to be the centre of attention? Do they talk or listen more? What is their drink of choice today? Learning something about a person before making the first contact makes it easier for you, almost like approaching an old friend.
Be curious
Introverts love the company of their own thoughts and enjoy comfortable silence. Not surprisingly, when it comes to leaving their comfort zone, they automatically want to say ‘no’. But if making new connections and networking is essential for your business at the moment, let your curiosity win for once. If someone suggests catching up for lunch to discuss a possible collaboration or new contract, say ‘yes’ not because you should but because you’re curious. What does this person have to offer? How does their mind work? What might you miss out on? What new and exciting direction might your work might take? Thinking about objects, tasks and perspectives, not about people bringing them to the table, sometimes makes it easier for introverts to accept the necessity of going out and meeting people.
Ask questions
Let extroverts do the talking! When getting ready for the next conference, business expo or networking event, make sure you have three to four questions, for when you need or want to make a connection, prepared in advance. Take the spotlight off yourself while simultaneously allowing people to express their opinion on the event and share their current or future projects. Make mental notes on how your company can get involved. You can always nod politely and exchange business cards at the event and follow-up with meaningful ideas via digital channels later.
Remember that you’re not alone
Introverts make up an estimated 25-40% of the population, so no matter how big or small the group of people around you, the chance you’re the only one feeling shy and stressed is minimal. Find another person who prefers the corner table and avoids conversations and make the first move. You can even start the conversation by admitting you don’t feel comfortable meeting new people! Who knows, the person that feels the same as you could become your networking buddy for the night and, later, your best friend.
Be memorable
If you need to establish a great connection with an important business or group of people, focus on making their experience of communicating with you as memorable as possible. Invite them for a golf session, a dolphin cruise or paintball session before talking business. Creating positive memories will play to your advantage – whatever you say when it comes to business will automatically be seen in more beneficial colours for your happy partners, so you’ll worry less about making the best impression and that will make it easier for you to communicate properly.
Wait for the ‘winner effect’
When we experience any kind of win, our body gets a jolt of testosterone and we feel like everything is possible, like we can move mountains. We also experience something similar after a good session at the gym, when our body receives a shot of endorphins, also known as hormones of happiness. Use these moments of feeling powerful and strong to your advantage! Make a difficult phone call after something great has happened at work or schedule a business meeting after a workout at the gym. Your body will give you that essential boost of confidence.