We often think our opinions and beliefs are the result of objective thinking but that’s not really true. Rather, we tend to see the world in a way that makes us feel right and we tend to ignore everything that is wrong or misaligned from our truth. That’s why we hang out with people who have the same beliefs, opinions and affiliations that we do – they confirm our biases. That’s why we listen to the news channels that we do – because the reports resonate with us. We see them as ‘our truth’. It’s the same with the people you follow on social media. People want to hang out with people whose opinions are the same as theirs.
This is called Confirmation Bias – the tendency to favour things that align and support your beliefs.
If you think of social media and Google and the AI (Artificial Intelligence) programmes that are running behind the scenes to see what you watch and listen to, you’ll find that what adverts and content you get shown are an echo-chamber of what you believe in. Facebook only makes money when you stay on their platform and see the ads so they will give you what you want. If you like a particular political party, Facebook will start showing you similar pages so you’re seeing even more of what you like and this, in turn, reconfirms what you believe. You’ll often see attack comments on articles when the content doesn’t align with other people’s comfort zones and beliefs.
It’s interesting to note that anything that triggers you shows where you are stuck in life.
Choice Supportive Bias is the positive attribution you give to a decision, purchase or opinion. For example, say you purchase Product A instead of B and you read an article about why Product A isn’t a good choice, you will downplay this and amplify the positives about your purchase.
As humans we want to feel that we are solid in the choices we have made and in what we believe. We don’t like being wrong so we try and rationalise why we made the decision and why it was correct. Nothing will shake a person more than when their core beliefs of who they think they are foundationally are shaken up.
So, what’s my point?
In today’s world, where there is so much division and extremism, isn’t it about time we all made an effort to hear and learn about other people’s opinions? Yes, it will take us out of our comfort zone to really listen but who knows, we may learn something new and, perhaps, have a greater understanding about why a person holds another view. It’s about mindfully listening without trying to interject our point of view.
I’m sure you’ve heard stories of people who carried long-held opinions and were adamant about their way being right which eventually led to fallouts within their families. The longer you stick to your views and opinions, the harder they will stick.
So, what to do?
Challenge yourself. When you have a belief ask yourself where this belief came from – is this what society taught you to believe, or was it your family or friends? Challenge your beliefs. Ask if this is something you really believe in or is it embedded in your family culture. Challenge your past decisions. Maybe you are wrong. Be open to other people’s opinions. Do different things. Talk to people who have different viewpoints to you. Have a growth mindset and be open to not always being right. Maybe your decisions in the past weren’t right. Constantly be challenging your past decisions and beliefs so you don’t allow yourself to get stuck and let your brain play tricks on you.