Formerly known as Asexual Awareness Week, Ace Week is celebrated worldwide on October 24-30 to raise awareness, build a supportive community and create change around the world. Here are the main things you need to know about asexuality, books with asexual characters and celebrities who identify as ace.
What does it mean to be asexual?
In short, people who identify as asexual (or ‘ace’) experience little to no sexual attraction.
Asexuality is a spectrum and while some people don’t ever experience sexual attraction and don’t have sex, others might engage in sexual activities from time to time or to a limited extend. The latter might also identify as demisexual (only experiencing sexual attraction to people they already have strong emotional connection with) or greysexual (experiencing sexual attraction rarely or with a very low intensity).
Some asexual people also identify as aromantic, which means they don’t experience romantic attraction to other people as well. A lot of ace people still enjoy romantic relationships – dating, hugging, kissing, sharing a life and mutual interests with another person – both allosexual (anyone who feels sexual attraction for other people) and asexual.
Do not confuse asexuality with celibacy or abstinence! Celibacy is a conscious commitment to avoid sex and is often done for religious, cultural or personal reasons. It’s often a lifelong commitment. Abstinence is a decision not to have sex for a period of time. In both cases, it’s a choice and doesn’t mean people don’t experience physical attraction.
And of course, we hope there is no need to remind that asexuality is not a medical condition and is not something that needs to be fixed. All people are different and our uniqueness is what makes us so beautiful and interesting.
Best books with asexual characters
Loveless, Alice Oseman
The author of Heartstopper – YA graphic novel that has a fan base rivalling that of Harry Potter – shines a spotlight on the humble last letter of LGBTQIA+ acronym, often overlooked in literature. Asexual characters sometimes appear in books in a ‘best friend’ or a ‘younger sibling’ role but novels with ace and aro main heroes are few and far between.
Meet Georgia. She has never been in love, never kissed anyone, never even had a crush. As she starts university with her best friends, she tries to navigate the reality of being asexual. Does it mean she’ll remain alone for the rest of her life? Or does it only mean there are many other forms of love that don’t necessarily include traditional romantic relationships?
Let’s Talk About Love, Claire Kann
This fun and romantic NA novel has a Black, biromantic asexual protagonist and starts with a painful event that many asexual people are, unfortunately, familiar with – being dumped because of their asexuality.
But college student Alice never gives up, surrounds herself with supportive people and learns to talk about her personal boundaries and limits.
And now there is this cute library co-worker, Takumi, she keeps noticing again and again… Will he be more understanding?
Tash Hearts Tolstoy, Kathryn Ormsbee
Natasha “Tash” Zelenka is a creator of a web series Unhappy Families inspired by the famous novel Anna Karenina, written by her favourite author. When series becomes popular overnight, Tash is excited about 40K new subscribers and all the positive messages.
And when Unhappy Families is nominated for a Golden Tuba award, Tash’s cyber-flirtation with a fellow award nominee suddenly has the potential to become something more — if she figures out how to tell said crush that she’s romantic asexual…
Sea Foam and Silence, Lynn E. O’Connacht
A beautiful retelling of The Little Mermaid with asexual and aromantic main characters.
If a mermaid Maris can’t find love within a year, she’ll become sea foam. With only a month left and no closer to understanding ‘love’ at all, what can Maris to do? Humans are confusing and contradictory and love comes in so many forms, how can she ever know which one is right and will allow her to avoid becoming sea foam?
Asexual celebrities
- Activist, model and author Yasmin Benoit is very outspoken about her asexuality and aromanticism. She aims to destigmatise both labels through her various social projects. “I’ve pretty much heard every misconception. I’ve heard that asexuality is a side effect of veganism!” she told the Independent.
- New Zealand novelist, poet and winner of the Booker Prize for her 1985 novel The Bone People, Keri Hulme confirmed in an interview with the New Zealand Herald that sex never intrigued her ‘in the slightest’ and finding a label she would feel comfortable identifying with was a ‘slow realisation’ rather than ‘a bolt of lightning’ for her. When asked about common misconceptions surrounding asexuality, she said: “The idea that asexual people can be cured. I am not sick, I am not deficient; I may not be normal but I am thoroughly natural. And I don’t want to be any different from the way I am.”
- An American scientist, one of the world’s first self-advocates with autism and published author Mary Temple Grandin, said choosing celibate life since boarding school wasn’t a hardship for her. Interestingly, Grandin rarely uses the term “asexual” in her books. She prefers to describe herself as “lacking an interest in romantic relationships” and “choosing celibacy.”
- Stand-up comedian, author and the voice of Forgetter Paula in Inside Out (2015), Paula Poundstone is a well-known asexual. She once said: “I don’t have sex because I don’t like it.”
- Singer, songwriter, composer, author and violinist Emilie Autumn identifies as asexual but she also admits that she doesn’t mind having sex, if it’s any good – this is her 2012 Tweet that went viral: “Press asked if I still consider myself asexual. Shared revelation: Wasn’t that I disliked sex, just never been w/ any1 who was any good @ it.”
- Ironically known for her role in the cult status movie Wet Hot American Summer (SO not asexual title!), comedian and actress Janeane Garofalo often mentioned being uninterested in having sex and relationships in her comedy routines.