As a result of the current global situations, people all over the world have been forced to change how they live, how they travel, how they connect and how they nurture their relationships. Thousands of people have been feeling anxious, sad, angry, frustrated and overwhelmed.
Whether you have been affected by this more or less, what is really within your control? As frustrating as it is, as angry as we feel about not getting to see our loved ones, as sad as we feel about missing important events, our resistance towards what is usually makes us feel out of control even more.
If it is out of our control, then what can we do about it? In this situation, there are things we can do – connecting with others via Zoom or Messenger, working from home and staying conscious about how we interact with people to support ourselves and the community.
We could fight and struggle; we can get mad and upset, and perhaps blame others. But in struggling, we are just adding to an already difficult situation. Many times, even though we would like to change the situation we are in, or change other people, all we can change is ourselves – what we think, our attitude towards it, what we do.
If some situations are beyond our control – we can struggle and fight, or we can slowly start opening up towards accepting that it is just the way it is – at the moment. “It is as it is”. Acceptance is not about judging it to be good or agreeing with it, not giving it permission to go on forever and not giving up on our options.
We are faced with many similar situations all the time over the course of our lives. Situations that we find ourselves in that we can have little control over – bereavements, losing a job, illness, being bullied by others, debt, relationship break-ups or significant life transitions. Perhaps some are situations that we have been partly responsible for bringing about, but have little control over now. There are situations where we have little control over, some we have a lot. We can only influence those areas where we have some control – our own part in contributing to the situation – our beliefs, opinions, attitudes, perspectives and ways of engaging with the challenging situation.
If you are feeling like you have no control over an area of your life right now I would like you to try the following:
✔ STOP
✔ Take a BREATH
✔ OBSERVE
What am I reacting to? What am I thinking and feeling?
✔ PULL BACK & PUT IN SOME PERSPECTIVE
What’s the bigger picture? What would someone else make of this situation? What advice would I give a friend?
✔ PRACTICE WHAT WORKS
What can I do about this? What’s within my control? What would help? What’s the best thing to do – for the situation, for others, for me?
You are not alone in this, so always remember to reach out for help when you need it!