Your sour mood can be caused by many things – your life situation, thoughts, external factors that you have or don’t have control over and even your current physiological state. Here are the most common reasons you’re feeling sad today and how to fix it.
The problem seems to have no solution
You keep going over it again and again, turning it this way and that, obsessing over it, but the perfect solution just never comes and it really annoys and irritates you. Sound familiar? Spinning your mental wheels is a perfectly normal human behaviour but if you’re spinning them without actually getting anywhere, it just adds to your frustration and the feeling of helplessness.
How to fix this? First of all, try distracting yourself by doing something absorbing – a yoga session, a walk in nature or even watching a captivating TV show. Then, find a different way to mull over your problem – write it down, record your own voice, etc. A fresh approach might give you fresh results!
You’re catastrophising the future
In challenging times like the one we’re currently living in, it’s perfectly normal for our brain to immediately come up with worst-case scenarios for every possible situation. Our brain believes it prepares us for the future whereas all it’s actually doing is spiking our anxiety over something that might never happen!
How to fix it? Reframing the way you think is not easy but it’s doable. Give yourself a reality check and put things into perspective – how likely is the worst-case scenario to happen? Is there any evidence pointing towards this scenario actually happening? If it does happen, is the outcome really going to be that bad or are you overreacting? Try to come up with not only bad scenarios but neutral and positive ones too.
It’s not you, it’s your friend
We’re not blaming anyone, we all need to vent every now and then! But the thing is, as humans, we tent to unconsciously mimic our opponent’s facial expressions and body language during conversations. So, if your friend is feeling sad or furrowing their brows in anger and you copy their expressions, your brain receives the signal that it’s actually YOU experiencing these emotions and they become real for you too.
How to fix this? Take a break – go to the bathroom or make your friend a fresh cup of tea and use this time to remind yourself that you’re actually fine and, as much as you feel for your friend, there is nothing in your life to feel angry or sad about right now. Listen to your friend, give them advice if needed, but try keeping their emotions separate from your own.
It’s not even someone, it’s something
Sometimes we feel down just because it’s a gloomy rainy day. Or you didn’t get enough sleep. Or you haven’t been exercising this week. We’re all creatures of habit and when something changes our bodies and brain don’t always have time to catch up and we can feel unsettled and melancholic.
How to fix this? If fixing your regime (or the weather) is not possible at the moment, create a positive atmosphere with things that are available to you at the moment and that always make you happy – your favourite scented candle, a happy conversation with your friend, an uplifting Spotify playlist. Try to stay centered, be present in the moment and focus on the little good things.
You’re constantly stressed
Trust us, this happens more often than you think – work, family, free time, me-time, friends, pets, events… As adults, we have an endless list of responsibilities and commitments. It’s not surprising we’re feeling stressed all the time!
How to fix this? Identify why exactly you’re feeling stressed right now – are you close to a deadline? Is it a member of your family’s health? Bills you have to pay? Just figuring out the specific root of your emotional turmoil will already help you feel better. If you can come up with a few steps towards solving or minimising this stressful situation, that will also give you an instant mood boost.
You’re experiencing meta-emotions
Humans are so complicated! As if simply feeling something wasn’t enough, we sometimes also experience feelings ABOUT our feelings! Ever felt embarrassed about being the happiest person in the room? Or sad because you’re still not feeling confident doing something you’ve done many times already? These are your meta-emotions! Mostly, meta-emotions are created by our upbringing, e.g. when boys are told that ‘men don’t cry’, they can then feel ashamed of being sad as grown ups.
How to fix this? Try to understand one thing – emotions are never good or bad. Whatever you’re feeling is valid. You’re allowed to be sad, you’re allowed to be embarrassed, it’s ok to feel helpless or stuck. You don’t have to feel bad about not being ok. Validate your feelings and don’t judge yourself for them. Treat yourself as you would your best friend – listen to yourself with compassion, reassure and comfort yourself and give yourself a mental hug.