Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean ‘me first’ it means ‘me too’. You are not being selfish when you focus on getting to know yourself a little bit more and being self-loving. Self-love means dedicating time and energy towards yourself to take care of your mind, body and soul.
In a world where we are busy working, looking after our families, friends, and partners it can be easy to forget that we need to give ourselves some attention too. Sometimes it can feel like you don’t even know where to start when it comes to caring for you.
Here are 11 tips on how to be more self-loving:
Talk to yourself the way you would someone you love and care about. Do you give yourself the same standards of empathy, patience, and care that you give your friends? If you catch yourself being unkind or self-critical, try thinking about what you would say to a friend rather than yourself about what you are experiencing. A lot of people find they can be very harsh on themselves and that it’s easier to be supportive of others. If you can be a supportive friend to others, then you have the ability to be supportive to yourself.
Celebrate your wins big or small. Do you stop to smell the roses and celebrate your wins? When you have something nice happen, achieve a goal or accomplish something you set out to do, make sure you congratulate yourself! Quite often we can dismiss our wins and focus on the next thing at hand or a task we must complete. But you deserve to celebrate that win, whether it is big or small, you earnt it!
Get to know yourself. Do you feel comfortable spending time with yourself? What activities do you like to do just by yourself? Going for a run, watching a favourite movie, being in nature? Having enjoyable alone time can be a good opportunity to reflect and recharge your batteries.
Forgive yourself. Do you ever ruminate on things you did in the past or wish you had done things differently? It’s in the past and even though these experiences might have been difficult or caused discomfort, they are all learning experiences. Being able to release old regrets, forgiving yourself and finding acceptance can help you move forward and appreciate the person you are today.
Avoid comparing yourself to others. We all blossom in our own time and at different stages and periods of our life. No one has had your exact same experiences, felt your emotions and lived your life so we can never accurately compare ourselves to others. It is easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself with others on social media where everyone presents the best version of themself. What is really important is how you feel about you.
Practise good self-care. What kind of self-care activities do you like? Finding lovely activities like having a bath or getting your nails done can make you feel good and be re-energising. Self-care also includes practical tasks that also contribute to your wellbeing. Do you recognise when you need to slow down, go to bed early or drink more water? Sometimes we let these things slide and forget to look after ourselves.
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Choose your friends wisely. Surrounding ourselves with friends and family that encourage and support us is good for our mental health. We can relax and be ourselves around the people who accept us for who we are no matter what. When we choose wisely who we spend the most time with, we are also taking care of ourselves.
Find your passion. What excites you, fills you with joy? When we are able to spend time doing something that we love, that is important or meaningful, we are dedicating time to ourselves. Finding meaningful activities can bring us fulfillment.
Set goals. Do you have anything you are working on right now? Give yourself something to strive for, for example a personal development goal, going for a new job or trying to beat your weightlifting record at the gym. Having something to work towards can bring ourselves some self-love and improve our self-confidence.
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Keep working on your boundaries. Think about your limits and know when you need to say no. Have a think about your emotional, physical and psychological boundaries. You have the right to be you, have your own opinions and feelings and do things because you want to, not because you feel it is expected of you.
Be your own advocate. Communicate your needs and wants to others. If you need help, ask for it. If you have trouble being direct, don’t worry it will become easier with practise. It will also make standing your ground and keeping good boundaries easier.
How you love yourself can be important in how you teach others to love you. Taking the time to care for yourself sends a message to others about how you want to be loved and treated. When you value yourself, it is easier not to settle for anything less than what you deserve.