We form the majority of our belief systems prior to the age of seven. This means that most of our beliefs, feelings and attitudes are concrete before we are aware of the programming influencing the shape of our lives.
Other beliefs are passed epigenetically, through our ancestral lines; and the rest are inherited from experiences we have as teens and adults where we accept certain things about ourselves. We pile on shame and trauma, accommodating our view and our perspective based on the unique experiences we’ve had – some of these through relationships, heartbreak, friendships, bullying, divorce, loss and grief, further altering our perception and closing ourselves off from true love, true connection and true happiness.
As children, we are shaped by the mother figure. We strive for perfection in her eyes, as we change ourselves to suit our mother’s dislikes and likes to gain approval. This then becomes a Mother Wound in adults – a programme mostly running without us being aware of it.
As a result of going through all this programming as kids and teens, as adults we might find it difficult to feel worthy. Some people end up convinced they have to go through pain in order to be deserving of good, others experience receptivity issues (not feeling worthy of receiving what it is they really want). Finally, there is also a problem of not being able to clearly state exactly what we want without feeling the niggle and resistance in our bodies.
We are great at avoiding this truth within ourselves because no one wants to accept they really don’t feel enough and aren’t actually feeling comfortable in their bodies. Being grounded and feeling at home in our bodies are both essential to cultivating a sense of self-worth.
Cosmetic industries, gyms and cosmetic surgeons have been playing on our insecurities for decades. Where are the products that make you look exactly like you are now? There is no money in that.
The truth is, your worth has never decreased. You just think it has. You are the person who has decreased your own worth based on the unique experiences you’ve been through. Fortunately, if you are the person who dictates what your values are and exactly how much you are worth, you hold the power within you to change and up-level your standards, boundaries and beliefs.
The inner critic is the voice inside ourselves that tells us we aren’t good enough; a voice formed from painful early childhood experiences. Through neuroplasticity – the brain’s ability to rewire itself through forming new neural pathways – we are able to affirm and invoke new states of being by stating to ourselves that we are worthy and we can have what we want. Creating and breaking free from the old sense of self and old identity is also required, so that your new identity can be an embodiment of the person who is deserving and worthy of good that life has to offer.
Instead of saving your best plates, or best towels, or makeup for the perfect occasion, use those things today. Give yourself the things you’ve always wanted, give yourself the toys you didn’t receive in childhood and give yourself permission to wake up happy! You don’t have to save anything for later, because you are worthy of those things you really want now. It’s not about feeling good when you lose 10 pounds, or get a certain amount of income, or have the perks of life you’ve always dreamed of. Giving yourself what you can in this moment will ensure that the future version of you will have the capacity within your body to hold those things you’ve been dreaming of. First, get grounded and feel comfortable in your skin despite whatever lies you’ve been telling yourself and despite whatever beliefs you’ve created about yourself not being good enough.
We hold the power to change our lives at any given moment and we are worthy of the things that we want the most.