What on earth is NLP? In short, Neuro Linguistic Programming is a method used to influence your brain through the use of positive language. It is said that over 70 per cent of our communication is non-verbal, so, if you think about it, a roll of your eyes or a simple flick of your hand can give a whole new meaning and dynamic to the story you’re telling.
We tell stories through gestures, eye movements, posture and facial expressions all the time. Try being sarcastic without any facial expression and you’re most likely to miss the mark!
When relating to others, it’s invaluable to learn simple techniques that can help you connect with other people. In NLP, this is called ‘building rapport’.
PEOPLE THAT ARE LIKE EACH OTHER, TEND TO LIKE EACH OTHER
Think about that for a moment. By subtly mimicking someone’s posture or gestures, outside of the other person’s conscious awareness, you create a connection. Building rapport with one another happens unconsciously all the time.
Remember that the keyword in building rapport is subtlety. If a person realises you are mimicking their behaviour, you’re likely to achieve the opposite outcome, meaning you are pushing them away.
Being genuine is another very important factor. The outcome of building a connection should always be a win-win situation. When you’ve mastered the technique of building rapport, establishing networks and having clients return will happen effortlessly.
KNOW YOUR CLIENT’S MODEL OF THE WORLD
Another way to grow successful affiliations is through understanding your client’s model of the world. You’ll understand them better if you know how they best relate to the world – are their learning styles visual, kinaesthetic or auditory? There are key words and phrases for each style that can be used so that you are speaking the same language with your client. This can be especially helpful in business management, sales, coaching, relationship counselling and otherfields.
BREAK THROUGH BELIEFS THAT ARE LIMITING YOU
What I love most about coaching with NLP techniques is that with the help of using Time Line Therapy, which is an active visualisation technique, wecan break through the five negative emotions: Anger, Sadness, Fear, Hurt and Guilt. And after letting go of thesebig five negative emotions we can workon breaking through limiting beliefs and instil positive beliefs with anchoring techniques. With hypnotherapy we can imprint positive future events – in a way, the possibilities are limitless.
Some easy tools that I always recommend to my clients to use at home include making a vision board of your ideal life in terms of health, wealth, career, happiness and peace of mind. You deserve to take some time out of your day to create a vision board that really appeals to you and hang it somewhere where you can always see it. Stick it on the fridge or on your desk or mirror. Frame it!
Next, write a business plan for each important item on your vision board and turn this into workable goals.
Organise and plan by urgency and importance and start achieving them one by one.
To give yourself that extra boost ofconfidence while working on your goals,write down a mantra and repeat it to yourself every single day for at least 30 days. A habit only really starts to form when you do something consistently forover 28 days.
“I’m capable, confident and I havewhat it takes to achieve …”
Henry Ford used to say: “If you think you can, or you think you can’t, either way you’re right.” This sparked in me the drive to really work on my mindset over the past eight years. Bob Proctor famously says: “If you can see it in your mind, you can hold it in your hand,” meaning that we can materialise our thoughts. That’s why I value vision boards so much – I’ve used them to turn my own dreams and goals into reality.
Last, but not least, a very easy way to start your day positively is to keep a gratitude journal. Wake up, have your journal ready to go and write down five things that you are grateful for. Hard to think of five things? How aboutthe fresh air we breathe here in the beautiful Bay of Plenty or having the ocean at our doorstep, food on the table and a roof over our heads? The list is endless. The question is, when was the last time you acknowledged them?
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Hayat Berkaoui is a life couch and hypnotherapist. She helps people to reach their goals in business, to overcome fears and overall live happier and healthier lives.
022 527 5709
