November 25th is White Ribbon Day – International day for the elimination of men’s violence towards women. Challenge the #Outdated and unhealthy ideas about masculinity by publishing a short video on your social media, explaining how the men around you role-model the principles of healthy masculinity.
One in three women in New Zealand experiences family violence in their lifetimes. This is the highest rate of reported violence towards women in the developed world.
Women’s Refuge CE Dr. Ang Jury explains: “We are seeing consistently high numbers of women and families taking refuge from violent men. As a country, we need to take this opportunity and look at the causes of violence. If we want to have a courageous discussion, then let’s talk about what constitutes masculinity and ensure our young men are being supported to grow up with healthy attitudes about masculinity that support respectful relationships.”
The underlying causes of men’s violence towards women are now well recognised by research as being linked to unhealthy masculinity. A report Men in Focus undertaken by the Australian national violence prevention organization, Our Watch, found that men who are outdatedly convinced men should be strong, forceful and dominant in relationships and be tough and in control are more likely to hit, abuse, coerce, and sexually harass women.
“We want people to Challenge the #Outdated and unhealthy ideas about masculinity. One way of doing this in a public manner is to create a short video and post it on your own Facebook feed. In the video, tell people why you are challenging the #Outdated ideas associated with old school masculinity, and tell us how you role-model the principles of healthy masculinity,” says White Ribbon Manager Rob McCann.
For example, in his video, White Ribbon Ambassador and rider, Rick Hepi, explains that while we are all products of our environments, it is possible to break the cycle. For him, it means that despite having a violent dad, he always wanted to become a good father.
We’ve all heard phrases like ‘Be A Man, Harden Up, Kids Should Be Silent, Treat Em Mean Keep E’m Keen, and Show Them Who’s The Boss. It’s time to challenge those #Outdated ideas and replace them with the behaviour and attitudes we want our sons and daughters to emulate. When we see or hear people around us repeating those #Outdated phrases, we need to try and nudge them in the right direction.
Now it’s your turn! Film yourself, publish your video online and tag it with #Outdated or #WhiteRibbonNZ, so we can all join in and have a conversation about what healthy masculinity should look like.
What does healthy masculinity look like?
- Healthy masculinity is rejecting unhelpful outdated stereotypes and unspoken rules about what it is to be a boy or man.
- Healthy masculinity is about being kind, empathetic, finding peaceful resolutions to problems.
- Healthy masculinity is about boys and men being confident in who they are without feeling pressure to be a certain type of boy/man.
- Boys and men can still be brave, and have muscles, be assertive, tough, love rugby, enjoy time with other men and boys, enjoy a pint with the lads. But boys and men should also be free to express sad emotions, enjoy cooking, dancing, gardening and anything else that does not fit into gender stereotypes.
- Healthy masculinity is treating everyone with respect.
- Healthy masculinity is recognising that people express gender and sexuality in a variety of ways.
What do healthy relationships look like?
- Equality between men and women. Gender equity in personal relationships and all social spheres reduces violence against women.
- Flexible gender behaviour for all. Having men breaking out of the Man Box and choosing their own masculine identity prevents the use of violence.
- Non-violent communication. Men being emotionally aware and expressive gives them alternatives to aggression.
- Enthusiastic consent for all sexual activities. Having willing participation is crucial in preventing sexual violence.
