Age isn’t just about longevity but the art of living well and enhancing your happiness and sense of fulfilment. In Dr Doug Wilson’s book Ageing Well: How to Navigate Life’s Journey in Your Later Years, he covers a wide range of topics an ageing population may face.
PURPOSE AND RELEVANCE
A sense of purpose substitutes for the depression of feeling irrelevant. Doesn’t matter what it is. But you need a reason for getting out of bed each day. You need a purpose.
Waking up each day with nothing much to live for or to enjoy is rather a bleak commentary on the lives of some folk. A purpose doesn’t have to be dramatic, or flag-waving, or life-changing. Purpose is something that you plan for each day, that has a consequence, such as the joy and pleasure for other individuals. It can be as modest as taking responsibility for a meal, either over a period of time or the occasional one-offs such as Sunday lunch. If the family visits their older relative, there’s planning on who’s coming, what’s the menu, how the house will be prepared, and the conversation. The purpose is to prepare for a task at hand, one that benefits other people than yourself.
Anything will do. It does not have to be a high-profile charity. But an interest or helping a friend, or family member or spouse, is good. Tending a garden to have the joy of the beauty of flowers or fresh vegetables you can share is an achievement to satisfy. Hobbies, volunteering, travel, biography, sports, anything. Make it your own. Religious communities. Generate joy and satisfaction. Engage in your community.
If you have an elderly friend who complains, as many do, of their little purpose in life, encourage them to boost their personal relationships, to join a club, to attend a religious community, to identify some books that may support their personal attitude to life, and talk about it. Irrelevance is a very negative attitude as a consequence of lack of purpose.
As we strive towards an active and happier old age, we always need the stimulus of purpose, particularly one that brings joy to others.
EXPRESSING GRATITUDE
Gratitude is a behaviour that supports purpose. Taking the time to think of all that you are grateful for, people and things, has a wonderful effect on mood and positivity.
WELLNESS PROGRAMMES
There are many businesses and programmes that target lifestyle and other wellness measures with proven health interventions and gains. They serve as a valuable and worthy support for those seeking a beneficial change in their lives, adopting a serious approach to their remaining years for their healthiest state possible. As this current guide endeavours to set out, there is a massive jungle of ideas and claims of health benefits, and life-changing actions, that can be pursued, along with life-extension advice. Many of them make spurious claims, tagged with philosophies or earnest advocacy for one or other of the new diets, or naturopathic practices, or even the bizarre homeopathic approach, long proven as being useless.
ACTION: Despite the wellness programme arena being captured by commerce, the notion itself is sound and usually very beneficial, offering you the chance to take time out and meet new people, learn new self- improvement skills, learn to relax, meditate, exercise, accept yourself and more. But do your homework if youare heading to a wellness retreat or engaging with a wellness programme. They provide a body-refreshing spell, and you are likely to feel better after that. But find a good one.
MENTORING
You may be older but almost certainly not useless. Many organisations, charities and small businesses are desperate for help from experienced individuals who can act as mentors for less-trained employees. Depending on your background, you may find this is a wondrous new vocation, and the organisation to which you link may bless themselves they found you. Let it be known that you are actively interested in mentoring; there are also business organisations which market such opportunities. It is a situation where everybody gains.
VOLUNTEERING
Church groups abound and numerous charities are always on the lookout for volunteers to help. For the volunteer, this can be like an entirely new career, working with individuals and organisations. You are working with like-minded people and are respected and accorded status.
In many countries, local websites summarise where volunteers are needed and what tasks and skills they are seeking. The act of volunteering brings fresh engagement, social networks, application and responsibility, and above all a sense of purpose. There are probably few human activities that are so health promoting, altruistic and meaningful.
BENEFITS OF TECHNOLOGY
In many situations, technology has a huge positive impact on the elderly community. Communication with friends and family is a positive. The internet is a golden gift for advancing years, let alone for the rest of society. Entertainment is streamed into houses. You can be the centre of your social network. Even if your family and friends are in other countries, it is simple to communicate with them on a regular basis, including seeing them move around on the screen. Home movies can be produced on your mobile phone. Complex hobbies can be pursued with enthusiasm and support using the internet to identify people of like interests and share ideas and projects. There is no excuse for being cut off, other than failing to pay the bills.
ACTION: Make the best use of these technological advances to greatly improve your life.
NEGATIVE ASPECTS OF TECHNOLOGY
Many individuals become obsessed with their capacity to communicate with their friends, and others, and more life is spent interacting with a screen. Online scams seek to extract cash from gullible individuals. More and more societal and bureaucratic interactions are online and many older individuals are unable to manage these activities without help. Banking and paying bills are online. Filling in forms are increasingly digital. Asking questions of most agencies directs you to a digital voice which has no idea what you are calling about.
For some it is like losing your way in a strange country, demanding you use a strange foreign language, which is really what it is.
ACTION: Get a kid to show you, Grandma. Somehow you need to find a helper to assist you here as the digitation of our lives is only going to increase. There are courses available for older computer users to get up to speed in many areas.
Extract taken from
Ageing Well by Dr Doug Wilson,
Calico Publishing, RRP $39.95,
calicopublishing.co.nz
