Confidence is the belief in yourself and your abilities. It is often confused with self-esteem, and while they overlap and share similarities, they are not the same. Self-esteem is based on how much self-worth we feel – essentially, how deserving we believe we are. Both confidence and self-esteem play a huge role in shaping who we are and how we feel about ourselves.
Unfortunately, many of us, particularly women, struggle with low self-confidence, which can affect all areas of our lives – work, social interactions, body image, and relationships, to name just a few. People often think you either have confidence or you don’t, but that’s not true. You can feel extremely confident in one area of your life, such as at work, but then struggle with confidence in another, like dating. It’s common for confidence to vary across different areas of life and for it to fluctuate, meaning we can have days when we feel really confident and days when our confidence is low.
The reasons for low self-confidence differ from person to person and can stem from a variety of factors. While it can be helpful to understand why we lack confidence, I prefer to focus on what we can do to improve it.
What Can We Do to Increase Our Confidence and Self-Belief?
Thankfully, there are many tools and techniques that can help boost self-confidence. Some exercises offer a quick confidence boost, while others require daily practise and consistency to make a lasting impact. Below are a few exercises and tools we can all use to feel more confident in ourselves:
- Utilising What We Already Have Control Over: There are small things we can do to project confidence externally, which can lead to feelings of inner confidence. Simple changes like improving posture, holding your head up high, maintaining eye contact, and smiling can make a big difference. Speaking slowly, loudly, and clearly when engaging with others also projects confidence. Choosing an outfit that makes you feel good is another small, manageable action. These mini confidence boosters can help you appear more confident, even in situations where you might not initially feel it.
- Building Self-Awareness: Getting to know ourselves better – understanding what drives us, our values, and our non-negotiables – helps build self-awareness, which in turn strengthens confidence.
- Goal Setting: Setting small, achievable goals and creating a plan to reach them can build a sense of self-worth. It also provides evidence to your brain that you’re doing what you set out to do, which reinforces confidence.
- Self-Talk: Pay attention to how you speak to yourself. Once you identify any unhelpful language or thought patterns, you can start to change them. Reframing your self-talk is key to building confidence. Unfortunately, it’s become normalised to listen to that inner critic or speak negatively to ourselves. This is something we would never do to others, yet that negative internal voice often holds us back. Identifying, addressing, and changing your internal narrative will vastly improve how you feel about yourself.
There are many more ways to improve self-confidence and mindset. To explore some of these tools, you can work with a professional such as a coach, therapist, or counsellor. There’s also a wealth of free knowledge available through podcasts, audiobooks, social media, and other online resources. The opportunities to work on ourselves and invest in our growth are more accessible than ever.
In addition to offering personal coaching for women looking to build their confidence and mindset skills, I’ve recently launched an online, self-paced course called Creating Confidence. This course will help you become the most confident, self-assured version of yourself yet. Available to purchase HERE.
