Sometimes it’s hard to keep going when you’re facing challenge after challenge or setback after setback. It can feel very lonely when you feel everything is all too much. How do you keep moving forward when you have lost everything, you’ve got only 10 cents left in the bank or you’ve been betrayed by someone close to you? There’s no denying it, sometimes life is hard. How do you stay positive when you feel like your whole world is falling apart?
Sometimes you just have to find that inner strength, take things impersonally and soak in all the tiny good things that you can find. Here are 5 things to remember when life gets tough…
Never say never
It’s not that it won’t happen, it’s just that it’s not happening yet. When everything feels like it isn’t working out and you are getting hit with challenge after challenge, it doesn’t mean that life, circumstances, mental health or work situations won’t change. When you are finding things hard it means they are hard right now and the change hasn’t happened ‘yet’. When we practise a growth mindset instead of being fatalistic we can continue to muster our motivation and keep moving, even when it’s really hard and it doesn’t feel like things have been getting any better. Keep your mind open that there will be positive change eventually.
Take a look at how far you have come and look at your strengths
When you think you are at the bottom of a huge mountain looking up at your challenges, it can feel hard to find the motivation to keep trying. It is important to acknowledge how far you have come, not just where you are standing and where you want to go. What strengths do you have? What got you to where you are now right now? You are strong, you are resilient, and you have overcome challenges in the past. Are there positives in your situation that you haven’t recognised yet? What would you be telling a friend if they walked your journey and were in the exact same situation? What strengths would you notice?
Everyone blossoms in life at different times
Remember everyone blossoms at different times in their life and multiple times too. If you feel like you ‘re not reaching your milestones, achievements or where you think you should be in life, it doesn’t mean you are failing or that it will always feel this way. Everyone has low points in their life as well as high points, celebrations and wins. Not everyone is going to have good times in their life at the same time as the other people around them and vice versa. Everyone’s journey is different. Sometimes in life we have to prune back a lot of leaves and branches to provide new growth, buds and blossoms. When life is feeling stark, it is an opportunity for new growth and personal development.
Don’t compare yourself to others, you are not alone
If everybody else looks like they are blossoming in your life and you are not, it doesn’t mean you won’t. Try not to compare yourself to others when you feel like you can’t go on and everything feels too hard. On social media we only see everyone putting their best foot forward. When we see other people’s success stories, we don’t see the hard blood sweat and tears, challenges, multiple failures, and struggles that went behind it. We can easily trick ourselves into thinking that success should be easy when it’s often a windy road. The only person to compare yourself to is you.
Persistency and consistency pay off
Chipping away slowly over time does pay off even when everything feels way too hard. When you know what direction you want to be heading in you can start putting one foot in front of the other. When life keeps throwing curve balls at you, don’t place high expectations on yourself. The best thing to do is to be as consistent and persistent as you can be and take it slowly if you need to. For example if you are fighting off depression, get the basics down. Eat three meals a day, regulate your sleeping patterns and once you have that mastered, build on it. Being quietly persistent and consistent will pay off in the end.
When everything feels all too much or not enough, take a breath, take time to think, and reach out for support. During times in our life when we are constantly getting beaten down by challenges, it can feel like something is wrong with you and it is personal, but it’s not. Believe in yourself and your ability to push through. Think of everything you’ve gone through and everything you have accomplished to get yourself to where you are. Don’t give up because eventually things do change.
